


Loki's A Bitch, That's Why

by Annie_of_the_Dell



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Because Loki's a bitch, Dicking Around, F/F, F/M, Genderswapping, M/M, Multiple Pairings and types of pairings, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2013-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-20 11:39:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/585017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_of_the_Dell/pseuds/Annie_of_the_Dell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki, although on the side of good (mostly), still enjoys dicking around with the Avengers. Unfortunately, a commonplace and ridiculously easy spell gets a little muddy thanks to some magical interference. Tony is now fascinated with his own boobs, mesmerised by Steve's and enjoys poking Bruce's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue (Fury's good eye is burning)

**Author's Note:**

> May as well get the notes out of the way. Don't expect stuff to get too heavy, I try to avoid the heavy. There may be some smut and there will definitely be some dicking around.

When Tony Stark woke that morning he felt…unusual. His mouth felt sticky and disgusting and his head was throbbing none too gently. But none of this was wrong; in fact it was quite ordinary. Tony stretched and stood, his eyes blurry. His weight settled oddly about him and as he walked to the bathroom his hips seemed to misbehave. When at last he looked into a mirror he sighed.

“Well fuck.”

 

Nick Fury was doing paperwork; he hated paperwork. So when uproar occurred outside his office it was almost a gift from the gods. Two S.H.I.E.L.D agents dragged in a woman; over 40 she had expressive brown eyes and dark-hair with a touch of silver at her right temple. She wore loose, oil-spotted jeans and a thick Metallica t-shirt. Not exactly stealth clothing.

“Found her breaking into Stark’s files.” One of the agents explained. The woman kicked him.

“Because they’re my files.” She snapped. Fury stood over her.

“Those files belong to Iron Man. Are you Iron MAN?” The woman shook herself free of the agents and lifted her shirt.

“Yes.” The miniaturized arc reactor glowed softly between her breasts. “C’mon Fury. Something weird is going on and I want my files.”


	2. Steve's an Amazon and That's Just Not Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's established that everyone is frickin' attractive and Steve blushes at his own bra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took forever but here it is.

“Hill. Are the Avengers on their way to the tower?” Fury wouldn’t admit it but he was freaking out; seeing Tony Stark’s tits was not something on his bucket list.

“Yes sir.”

“Anymore cases?”

“Captain America and Hawkeye confirmed transformations, the others are unknown.” Hill double-checked her clipboard to be sure and Fury nodded. He opted not to go to the tower himself, seeing Stark as a woman was enough of a mindfuck for one day. 

“Tell ‘em to settle in. We’ll sort this out tomorrow. Put the tower on lockdown, Avengers floors accessible to authorized S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel only.” He commanded. Hill nodded and went to do Fury’s bidding. Right then Fury needed a biiiiiig drink.

 

Tony was still getting used to the whole boob thing. To be honest he was a little disappointed that his female body wasn’t as busty as he’d imagined it would be. Pepper wasn’t surprised; the man hardly ate anything other than scotch and poptarts. And now he was trying on clothes, already fussing over his appearance. Nothing new really. 

“Peeeeepp.” Tony was turning to her, brown hair swishing. “Is this bra thing really necessary? It’s not sitting on the arc reactor right.” Pepper sighed and handed Tony a different bra, one with a lower connection between the cups. “Okay, that works. Gonna look so sexy.” Pepper rolled her eyes, a frequent occurrence around Tony, boobs or no. 

 

Natasha was having a similar experience. The second Clint had discovered himself a woman he’d flung himself into the whole thing.  
“Tash where do you keep your wax strips?”  
“Bottom drawer.” She leaned against the wall, already as dressed as she could be given what she had. “Though I don’t know why you’re bothering, it’s probably temporary anyway.”  
“Hey.” Clint turned to his partner with a swish of light brown hair. “If I’m gonna be a girl; I’m gonna go all girl.”

 

Bruce wandered over to the mirror, caught his eyes looking out at him from a feminine face, and sighed.

 

Thor yelled. And yelled. And yelled. This was not the first time he had woken sporting breasts. Though he had hoped the last time would actually be the last. At least he was an attractive woman. It wouldn’t have made a difference to him if he weren’t but the beauty added a certain confidence to his step.

 

Steve was a little anxious. His clothes didn’t fit right and the man sitting across from him on the train kept smiling at him. And his newly acquired breasts were jiggling uncomfortably. He had woken up to an odd tickling on his neck and his weight distribution had been off. The mirror had confirmed his sneaking suspicion of magic when it showed him a tall, muscular blonde woman. The minute Steve was in the secondary foyer of Avengers Tower, the prequel to the Avengers floors, he was greeted with Pepper who told him to stand still. 

“JARVIS, please scan the Captain and send his measurements to Tony.” Pepper asked politely. Steve shifted awkwardly as JARVIS’s beams swept him.

“What’s this for?” Steve didn’t like beams. Pepp smiled at him.

“Just getting you some clothes that fit Captain. Tony’s upstairs in his workshop.”

“Thanks Pepp.”   
Tony was tossing clothes around, looking for goodness knows what when Steve got to him. “Tony?”

“Steve!” Tony straightened and Steve was a little taken aback. Though it was true there was a little dissonance about the lack of beard, Tony was a remarkably attractive woman. In his underwear. “Holy shit Steve you’re an Amazon!” Tony crossed his arms petulantly. “That’s just not fair.” 

“Well he does have the whole formula thing going for him.” Hawkeye was leaning against the door, arms and legs crossed. He was wearing Nat’s tan leather jacket and a purple tank top.

“Are those Natasha’s jeans?” 

“Are you admitting to staring at my ass Stark?” Behind Hawkeye was a lean man, average height with a mop of red hair.

“Tasha?” Steve was a little surprised with how tall the Black Widow had become.

“Eyep.” The redhead winked at Steve. “And those are my jeans.” The two master assassins took seats a little to the side of the room while Tony tossed more clothes aside and Steve stood awkwardly by the door.

“So any news of Thor and the Jolly Green?” Clint asked, his voice still low, though in a higher octave.

“I’m over here.” The voice was even lower than Clint’s but there was a slight waver to it, like the speaker was concentrating on something else. Bruce was standing in the doorway, long brown curls in a neat ponytail and his shirt tucked neatly into his trousers. “Not quite myself but I’m here.” He gave a delicate little shrug and moved into the room. 

“Well now we’re just missing a busty Asgardian.” On anyone else Clint’s smirk would be considered dirty. On him it was downright filthy. 

“See you make it sound like a party.” Tony grinned, holding a bra out to Steve. “Here put this on.” Steve gave him a ‘deer in the headlights’ look.

“Really Tony? The man looks like he’s about to faint.” Darcy Lewis strode into the room like she owned it. “Good thing it’s not mine; he’d have an aneurism.”

“Who let you in here? I thought I revoked your access after the cupcake thing?” Tony put his hands on his hips.

“You unrevoked it after the horse thing.” Darcy shrugged, plucking the bra from his hands. “Come on Steve.”

“What?”

“I’ll help you with your bra.”

“But-“

“Hey we’re all girls here.” Darcy’s laugh was low and sarcastic.

“Right.” Tony started looking through more clothes as Darcy led Steve over to the corner behind a tall plant. “How does she keep getting involved in our issues? Also why isn’t she a man?” Tony threw a hand out in Darcy’s general direction and the others were amused to note a frustrated squeak in his voice. Natasha shrugged, tucking her phone away.

“Why isn’t she always involved is my question.” Clint smirked. “Darcy’s awesome. Also she isn’t an Avenger (yet) and this is probably an Avenger specific thing.”

“The whole thing reeks of my brother’s magic.” Thor breezed in and everyone’s jaw hit the floor. Thor hadn’t really changed all that much. He was still incredibly tall; his shoulders were broad and his step firm. But now there was a confident sway to that step, a saucy grin on full lips.

“Loki’s in town?” Darcy stuck her head out from behind the shrub. “Also Tony do have matching panties for that bra? Girl Steve should not wear boxers.”

“What’s wrong with my boxers?” Steve squeaked.

“They’re fugly Steve.”

“Um yeah here.” Tony, self-labeled Queen of Undies handed Darcy the requested panties and threw a bra at Bruce. Bruce couldn’t really give two fucks and started stripping off where he was. Never one to give up an opportunity to ogle her partner, Nat let out a choked groan and Clint gave her a knowing smile.

“Not so fun is it?”

“Shut up.” Nat hissed and Tony laughed at them. Steve emerged from his hiding place. Well, Darcy shoved him out, a slap on the behind his parting gift.

“Can we get back to the fact that Loki has turned us all into women please?” The All-American Booty was currently trying to find a way to cross his arms that covered his stomach but didn’t highlight his breasts. He was failing and Darcy was finding it extremely amusing.

“This is a common trick.” Thor assured. “Likely my brother was bored or has some minor irritation with us. It was oft his favourite jest in our youth to turn me into a woman. It is undone easy enough.”

“I’m afraid not Brother.” A silky voice entered the room before its owner did. “It is indeed a simple trick. But something is … different.” The woman that strode in was tall, almost as tall as Thor; with long black hair in a thick braid over one shoulder and a whipcord frame. She looked as if she’d stepped out of Rivendell. 

“Woah.” Darcy’s voice was the only one in the room. “Helloooo Loki.”


End file.
